Losing "Hug"ers

These days, I feel like, day by day, I'm losing my relations, feel like I'm a big sole old thick tree, in a moor in Africa, where all its tribes has immigrated to the city or maybe to the west, either wild or tame.

Sometimes solitude gives me a sense of power, that I am the only commander of this big territory. Sometimes it is joyful, sometimes it is as painful. I guess all the kings or maybe queens suffer as much as they enjoy.

What I don't like is the fear which is the inseparable part of any ruler's life, the fear of feeling its empty, the space behind you.

These days, I feel like I'm losing my hugers, and I scare of forgetting the last time of being hugged.

Losing hugers could seem a ridiculous issue, but I believe every person, needs to be hugged at least once a day. You can't beg for being hugged. You can't buy it. All you can feel is an empty space behind, when even a touch of an stranger can make you nervous.

I believe every one needs a hugger

I believe I've lost all my hugers

...

Atonement (Dec 2005)

Tonight, like every night, I greeted the stars, the moon did not come
Last night, that I have greeted the moon, stars did not come
It has been like this for years
The next night, I greeted the stars
I greeted the moon
They have not come though
That is
The atonment of an undone sin is the wrath of the sky
And the atonement of a done sin is the wrath of skyies!

Cow (Dec 2005)

Last night the cow winked
The fish stumbled
You were shaked
He was shaked
I was shaked
They were shaked
We were shaked
You were shaked
The said:" it is earthquake"
But I know!
You were telling your sorrows to God
The cow heard
The cow cried
The cow winked
Its tear fel on the fish
The fish tought it is water
Trimbled happyly
We were shaked
They were shaked
You were shaked
He was shaked
I was shaked
You was shaked
They said it is earthquake
Cause they did nt know

Went ( Dec 2005)

Road is not "to go"
Road is not Infinitive
Road is the repetition of a roving inflection
Road is an inflection which its repetition
Is a hurricane which fade away, as it did
All fruits of you heart
All wings of my mind's butterfly
Road is not to go
Road is not a petition, niether a ribbon, not an spring
Road means: Went
went
went

From: Manouchehr Atashi

The Kartesian Life ( The recent post)

At the beginning we were 2
Not even 2 points!
Not even 2 lines!
2 vectors!

2 vectors which one pointed east and the other pointed west
Not even 2 parallel lines which meet each other in the infinity
Not even any perspective
Not in the same direction
Even in opposite directions
Which not only would never meet each other in any infinity
But also will go far away day by day
Further and further

And the only way they can meet is if they move on negative direction
And not even they would meet;
They would just face a moment and then leave
In their own direction
Then
They will go far away again
Further and further

Anyway
I think the day we met for the first time
We were at that point
And we passed it
Not that we wanted to pass
We had to pass

We were vectors
We had intrinsic Direction, Side and Size
The size which was changing with time

We were vectors
With an angel even bigger than 90 degrees...

I remembered,you forgot

About the title: it is the name of an iranian game, in which two person should remember to tell the word: "yadam= I remember " in case the other gives anything to him, anytime he or she forget saying that word and the other remembered, the giver will say: "Yadam tora faramoosh= I remembered you forgot" and will win.

A day went and a day came

The sun went and the sun came

The cloud went and the cloud came

In the day which went and came

You called the sun which went and came (I know it is better to use past participate here, but I used thenses exactly as they were in persian ;) )

And told it, Say goodbye to the cloud which went and came

In the day which went and came

You picked the sun

and put on my forehead

The sun which has gone and come

Burnt my forehead

And its picture remaindes on it

A night went and a night came

The moon went and the moon came

The star went and the star came

In the night which went and came

I called the moon which went and came

and told it to say goodbye to the star

In the night which went and came

I picked the moon and

put it on your forehead

It burnt you forehead

and its picture remained on it

A day went and a day came

There was no sun

The cloud went and the cloud came

In the day which went and came

You put the sun you have picked on its place

In a day which went and came

You called the cloud which went and came

And told it to say goodbye to sun

A day which went and came

You put the cloud in my hand

My hand froze and I said: " I remember"

A night went and a night came

There was no moon

The star went and the star came

In a night which went and came

I put the moon I have picked on its place

In a night which went and came

I called the star which went and came

and told it to say goodbye to the moon

In a night which went and came

I put the star in your hand

Your palm burnt

And I said: " I remebered, you forgot, for ever! "

.....

Last year from december's memos
years ago you said you have seen the death
after years I am saying I saw the death but
never wished like you
I saw the death
It has been replaced in dear bodies
Many times it brought me sarrow
but
I never scared of it
and I would never scare of it
even if I find it more dear bodies
And I would never call it
because these days I am seeing it everyday
Have you never been waiting for some one to die?
every phone call can be his sole laughter
I wish her life was not so hard to be more satisfied for her dieng
I dont dare to say
No Death and no life
You did nt know either
He knows I am so given up to his wish
even if I seems to be the most oposite
These days air is so heavy
To be or not to be
you were right
actually it is not the problem
it is the accident
maybe even it is not the accident
but
it is the temptation
and you
and her
how well you know

This year:
What do we know about death
about our dears go
I am being swallowed
these days are eating me
I an afraid
from everything even my sentiments

What are you looking for in the mirrors
Lets ask the stone what does it know about the story of the End
lets ask the stone since except the stone
no one knows the story of the End

I wish there was some one for me to love
they say human needs to be loved more than love
I have become so lonely
and the lonliness which I wanted eagerly is bothering me
the poisoness memories with all their griffing pictures and voices are walking in my mind all the time
the solitude was beautiful

but I have become too lonely with out some one to love
and I
My self wanted it
I wanted it....

sigh (Dec 2005)

Come, Fill the Cup (Pialeh)

Come, fill the cup.
It’s been a long, long time
That this fiery water has not carried me away.

These glasses, which are emptied one by one,
are an ocean of fire which I pour down my throat.
The whirlpool seizes me, but the water does not carry me away.

On the wild bewitching steed of wine
I have traveled to the endless world of imagination,
To fields starry with tender thoughts,
To the unknown frontier between life and death,
To garden paths of ever elusive dreams,
To the city of memories.
But now, beyond the edge of my bed
The wine no longer carries me

O eagle of love!

Rise up from your misty, distant peaks.
Wing your way to the grieving plains of my life.
Carry me to where the wine no longer carries me.

How unlucky am I,
For the eagle does not carry me away.

(By persian singer Fereydoon Moshiri, Translated By: Sharok Vafa)

Name description

Patsi and Zigorat are two ancient word, Patsi means the head, leader, master,... and Zigorats were pyramid formed structures which were used as temples.
I found this words in my favorate childhood story book from Mrs. Kalhor, named " The Inteligents of Planet Orak" .

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no anew thing under the sun.
Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us
(The Old TESTAMENT- Ecclesiastes- First chapter)

Yasane (the blog address) Dec 2005

o' Hum! give me the cures you cure by them.
O' Hum! give me the victories you challenge with them.
I want to be your admiring friend
The Lord Ahura Mazda likes an admiring friend better, as Ordibehesht.
The ones whome you give bliss, go ahead hopefully and come out wisely.

"yasane" in the "Avesta"s language means the prayer song, the text above is one of the Avesta's Yasanes.

(dec 2005)

In the coldest and darkest nights, if you hold a lantern, it won't warm you up, niether shows you the way, but if you keep the lantern on your heart, you would n't be cold niether lost.
Never mind if the wind turns down the lantern in your hand, turn on the lantern of
your heart...

( In Jan 2005, I wrote this on the help packages to the earth quick nomads, thanks to Mrs. Simin Daneshvar for the idea)

Hi (dec 2005)

A small change made me to blog. I, the first zigorat's patsi, am here everyday, looking for the last song